Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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