does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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