I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
