I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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