My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
