im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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