You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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