Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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