just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize