So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
