Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
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also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
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He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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