i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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