wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize