it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
