maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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