I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
