so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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