Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize