I have demons in me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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