I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
