Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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