i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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