farters have to be the big spoon...
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
