I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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