Who did Billy Mays play for?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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