If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
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we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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