Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Randomize
