Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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