Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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