I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
