Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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