I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Is it because I queefed?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
