i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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