I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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