Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
