Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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