Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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