I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
