I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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