Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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