we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Mom said you looked used
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
