Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
