i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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