we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize