I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
