Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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