and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
