i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
