who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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