we're blogging at a bar
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
