alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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