I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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