Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My bed smells like the plague
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
