I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
