We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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