I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
