So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
