My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I understand Curling. That high.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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