if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
