Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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