Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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