so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
