Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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