Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
