So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
