im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
