Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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