In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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