You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
we should paint friendship bongs
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
