Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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