Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
